Stories

Websites to check out:

www.handclasp.org
What is your donation used for??: http://www.handclasp.org/Sponsors%20-%20Donations.html
TETE'S STORY: http://www.handclasp.org/Biography.html
www.nangfahproject.com

You might be wondering, "WHAT IS HANDCLASP??" Well, when Tete was first called to Thailand, she had to leave the country every three months to renew her Visa. And each time she left, she bought souvenirs from Thailand and sold them back home in India for airfare. (When she became a Thai citizen, the rupee's value increased while the baht's value decreased. Such a God thing, right?) Anyway, during one of those trips out of the country, Tete's uncle (he has a cool story too!) told her to visit some missionary friends of his. Except he only gave her their names. No address. No phone number.

On the plane, the stewardess took interest in Tete, asking her lots of questions. The guy next to her noticed and offered to give her a ride to the missionary's house. She didn't give him a "yes" or "no" until she saw that this man's wife and son picked him up from the airport; she concluded that he's probably kind-hearted with good intentions.

They drove and drove, looking for this person who lives who knows where. They finally saw a truck parked outside a house with an American flag sticker. They rang the doorbell. It was the right house!

Months later, this missionary wrote Tete a letter wondering if she could bring a group to visit. Tete wrote back, "Yes. They can build toilets!" Don & Kay Fox were in this group, and as Kay helped Tete with many things throughout that trip, she got to know Tete's heart.

Fast forward...As the HRDC is not supported by a church or a certain denomination, it relies on donations from individuals. And lots of faith. Thailand's current law requires a $30 fee for every check that's cashed. So if someone donates $15, the HRDC actually ends up paying $15! This proved to be a difficult predicament, so Don & Kay started Handclasp. Every penny that Handclasp receives is given to the HRDC. :)

There are hundreds of stories like this one. All breathed into life by God. It's incredible.

Gone.

Right now, I’m sitting at the Chiang Mai airport. My suitcases were 10 kilos over the weight limit, which makes me SO thankful that they forgot to weigh my luggage on the trip here (with the laptops and pens!). I tried taking out things but just stood there silently strategizing when I realized I couldn’t carry on 10 kilos of clothing. So she just let me go. Thankfully.

Then the guy at customs kept asking me all these questions. “So are you here by yourself? Where is your family?” I went to the bathroom afterwards, looked in the mirror, and saw that I had my arms full of friendship bracelets and had a flowery white sparkly plastic cross around my neck. The customs officer probably thought I was too young to be traveling by myself. Oh well!

So I’m sitting here. Relaxed. Exhausted. In a way, I was looking forward to today because of the ant situation, missing “comfort”, and excitement for what’s next. But I’m not feeling relief or any sort of excitement. Instead, I’m beyond sad.

I keep telling myself that we’re never meant to be comfortable.

I was never 100% physically comfortable this past month, and now I have discomfort in my heart.

This morning, as the kids left for school, I noticed Piraporn missing from the line. He came down later, crying. Aww. As the kids made their trek to school, sadness was everywhere. And I walked with Somsi and Waraporn down the path and stopped right before they had to jump the fence. More tears. Sobs. And this time, I was crying too. I kept my arms around them for a long while, whispering over & over in Thai & Karen, “I’ll miss you. I love you.” It was so sad watching them walk off to school. So sad.

Right before I left, Don and Kay laid hands on me and prayed a wonderful prayer. Such sweet people, wow. And I talked to Tete the whole entire drive down to Chiang Mai. Even after her husband dropped us off at the airport, we spent a good 45 minutes talking in the middle of the check-in area. Our own special time. There could’ve been a tornado swirling around and we wouldn’t have noticed. Just one last heart-to-heart in person…til next time! I still can’t imagine receiving an email from a random person (well, we have a few mutual friends, but still!) and allowing her to stay with you for a month. But she’s just that kind of person.

I sometimes wonder what the children think about “America”. Do they think America is some sort of paradise where I’ll go and forget them? Some of the high schoolers told me that they were going to America with me. Haha. And I wish they could! I hope they know I won’t forget them. That I love them more and more every day. That they’re here with me. They are everywhere I am because they’re in every prayer of mine. And they’re in this heart that they poured love into and watered until it overflowed. I can’t wait to see them again.

My Last Days

I didn’t journal much in fear that the writing would open the floodgates, pouring out tears. But I’ll try my best to take you to my heart with the highlights.

“Take Me to Your Heart”. It’s an English song. Tanin and Akhom listen to it all the time, which means I listen to it quite a lot as well. It’s super cheesy, and I’d never listen to it on my own, but it’s fun to sing the three lines we know: Standing on a rainy day…/ Listening to my own heart beat / So many people, all around the world…/ Take me to your heart, take me to your soul… / They say nothing lasts forever, we only have today / Love is now or never, take me far away / Take me to your heartttt!!

Somehow, someway, I love this song. As cheesy as it is.

I said my goodbyes to the staff slowly throughout the week. Ahkom, Tanin, and I had a lot of meaningful moments together, and they both wrote me nice letters. In English. On sparkly pink paper. I’ll take a picture and post it on Facebook. Luckily, they told me ahead of time that they spent days working on their letters and that the words are straight from their hearts…So I didn’t laugh when I saw that the stationary said, “Love is make the world go around” and “Polar Bear”. I have a great mom, dad, and sister, but no brother. God has put brother figures in my life to fill that spot, and I am so thankful to have Tanin and Ahkom care about me and love me like a sister. It’s unbelievable.

MY FAREWELL PARTY, as Kay called it, was a celebration of life. I like calling it Don & Kay’s “Welcome Back Party”, since it has happier emotions attached to it. The kids sang many songs, which is typical for any given night. But since this was a welcome night, the kids sang even more songs. And we laughed through pretty much every one. Lalida, Yupin, and Yupa danced to “Above All” dressed in cute dresses. Lalida did the wrong motion at the start of the chorus, which is pretty climactic, and we all just busted out the laughs. My girls wanted to do the dances I taught them, but they didn’t quite remember them. So that made for an interesting six minutes with comic value. They all sang a song in 4-part harmony, except the group of guys knew absolutely none of the words. So they stood there the whole time uncomfortably while I laughed. :)

Several of the kids also stood up to share such nice words for me. I ended up receiving more bracelets (I already had a lot on my wrist and was having a hard time keeping track of who gave what!). But mostly, I received heartfelt words. Some of the kids let those tears flow, and my heart ached. These kids have so much to give.

Tanin & I surprised the kids with a Karen song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ_d_CvnXiM&feature=channel_page) I saw the astonishment in their eyes as the Karen language hit their ears. And I wanted to cry the whole time, but I desperately wanted to be strong for the kids. I also had words to say for the children. “Never lose your kindness and generosity because you will change so many people’s lives with it…I am going home with a bigger heart because of you…Thank you for loving me…I’ll call you and help you with homework.” Etc etc etc.

At the end of the night, they did a Karen farewell. They all got in a line and shook my hand. But I ended up hugging them all. And I ended up with more bracelets on my wrist. Somsi and Waraporn were last in line. With tears streaming down their faces. We walked to their dorm, and I hung out with the girls for quite awhile. They gave me the oddest gifts and the sweetest notes, and I know they have more use for the gifts than I do, but they wouldn’t take them back. So I will treasure them forever.

Don & Kay; Piraporn & Tosiporn

The founders of Handclasp, Don and Kay, arrived in Musekee on my last day. I'll write more about them when I share Tete's story, but it was nice spending time with them.

At dinner, I found out that the person who sponsors Piraporn & Tosiporn is going through some financial difficulties right now. So they're looking for new sponsors (many other kids are waiting for sponsorship as well!) Over the past few weeks, I've been feeling the desire to put my money where my heart is. I currently sponsor a child through another organization that I respect (otherwise I wouldn't be sponsoring a child through them!), but only about 15-30% of my monthly donation goes directly to the child. There are administrative fees, the need to support the staff in that area, etc. I understand all of that, but I want every penny to go towards the child.

I starting thinking and praying about sponsoring a child at the HRDC instead, but all these children that I know are already sponsored. I know that shouldn't matter, but it would definitely make my decision easier. So when Don told me about Piraporn & Tosiporn's sponsor, I felt like it was God dangling a string from Heaven telling me what to do. A total God thing.

[I will still support the other organization periodically, as I love how it is so in tune with what's going on in the world and provides relief to countries that need it. I have nothing against the organization; I just want to support a child who I can follow up on easily and keep in touch with his life after he turns 18 (which is when most other organizations stop their aid).]

The first boy that caught my eye on that first evening in Musekee was Piraporn. He was this cute little thing (it turns out he's 13!) with a sweet smile. He was standing in the back with the other guys, and I just knew that I wanted to love him. His twin, Tosiporn, is a little more difficult to figure out. He barely ever smiles and doesn't show his emotion quite like his twin (Tosiporn cries about 3 times a week!).

The twins have 10 other siblings, and the parents love their children so much and work so hard to make ends meet. Kay told me that she once visited their village and cried when she met their mom. Seeing this family made Kay put herself in their shoes. What would she do if she couldn't feed her family? What would she do if, even after working all day, she still couldn't provide for her family?

Wow.

Since coming to the center, the boys have gained some weight, and I expect them to be even taller and bigger the next time I see them. :)

Washing Machine?

The girls who went to Chiang Mai got back really late at night, so some of them didn't go to school the next day. So we spent a lot of that day together...hung out at the store, went on walks. But they hid behind me as each truck drove by in case it was a teacher. Hahaha.

They asked if I needed any clothes washed. Since I planned on donating a handful of clothes, I figured we could wash them together. So we gather up two black buckets per girl, one for bathing and one for washing clothes. Then we walked down a realllllly long path and ended up at a stream. There's constant water flowing in from a pipe...and little fishies swimming around. There are wooden boards that add up to be about a foot wide. So the girls can stand on it with the flowing stream underneath. It was so much fun hanging out with them!

They sang songs...Pah Wah Low Love, I Don't Know About Tomorrow, Draw Me Close, Thai pop songs. Then they begged me to sing them "a song from America". The only ones I could think of at the moment were little kids songs like Mary Had a Little Lamb, the ABC song...and The Climb from Hannah Montana: The Movie. Yikes. I don't know why these were the only songs, maybe because I was put on the spot. Given my song choices, I chose The Climb. Hahaha.

Okay, Please Put Down That Gun

A day or two before I left, I spent the afternoon watching Methom weave/taking occasional attempts at weaving on my own. Another staff lady came in, chatting with Methom and keeping us company. Then she left. Minutes later, I heard voices, Methom hurriedly told me to keep weaving, then SPRINTED out. So I'm about to set things up when two men walk in. One guy has a HUGE gun. Huge. They're wearing camo pants. A somewhat conversation ensues. It's mostly me looking at them in disdain.

I hear the words "Methom", "police", lots of pointing to themselves and to the weaving and to me. They're kind of laughing, kind of trying to tell me what to do. And I'm just thinking, "Yes, I'm scared. I know Thai police are corrupt, oh no. Don't stare at the gun...."

Then I got annoyed with them. Obviously, I don't speak Thai. Stop talking and laughing at me. So I continued to give them an annoyed/blank stare. Crazy thoughts are running through my head. Why did Methom run off? Is she in trouble? Am I set up?

They point at me and tell me to go outside with them. I go. They stand in the porch area of the female dorm (the weaving area is on the first floor of the dorm), and I just stand at the doorway, barely answering their questions. I don't see any staff people in sight. Umm...?

Finally, Akhom walks by. I give him a look telling him to come over NOW. The guy puts his gun in the truck. They all talk. Finally one guy acts like he's taking a picture, then shows me his ID card. Akhom tells me they're here to get Karen shirts from Methom. I eventually put it all together. OH! The Thai government wants to be more serious about identification and wants each person to have an ID card. But since it's nearly impossible for everyone in the villages to go to Chiang Mai & get their picture taken, the government sent people to Musekee.

The gun is for protection.

But what were they thinking bringing a gun into a female dorm? It was four feet long.

So the two men and the staff just have a little chat, and I laugh it off. But next time they should leave the gun in the truck and be less annoying.

Frosting

I got more nail polish for the girls (and apparently some of the boys) in Chiang Mai. 1 clear base coat, 1 clear top coat, and several different colors of nail frosting. The girls LOVED the clear stuff, and they kept calling it "see kaw", or white. Apparently white is almost every kid's favorite color. Interesting, huh? I don't think anyone I grew up with chose white as his/her favorite.

Anyway. I set the nail polish on a table for the girls to use, labeling the base and top coats, and made it clear that the students were to share everything. But on the day I left, two bottles were left. The base coat first went missing, then the top coat, then the magenta, then the gold, then I lost track. Crazy kids!

And the boys...I'm not sure how this all came about, but I gradually noticed more and more boys with nail polish on their fingers and toes. I know the older girls were painting the nails of the younger boys, but it kind of weirded me out when I saw the boys painting their own nails. I painted hearts and smiley faces on some of them, just to make it more interesting, but wow!

The Final Ant Story in Red & Green

I was having a great day. No rain (which translates to no ants indoors), lots of sun.

Tanin & Akhom wanted to take me to a noodle place for lunch instead of having the usual gathering at the store. So we went to the other store on our dirt road, sat at the table, and a lady brought us noodles. We're eating. Talking. I noticed something like an ant in the bowl. But it could've been just another spice. Okay, nothing to freak out about. I'm just sensitive to tiny black objects. I stick it on my chopstick and pry it off at the top of the bowl, just in case. It took a good minute to get the thing off the chopstick, so I figure I won't do that again if I see any others; I'll just assume it's a spice.

HA.

As my eyes adjust & focus on the bowl, I notice some more. And the definite shape of a black body and legs. So I nonchalantly, as quickly as possible, stick the ants to the side of the plastic bowl. Tanin eventually notices and asks me what I'm doing. I point to the bowl. "Ahh, ants." Yes. I asked if he wanted them...after all, he eats bees. Why not ants? But he declined. That must mean that ants are from the Devil & aren't meant to be eaten. :(

I've been wearing red and green a lot this week. My neutral colored clothes are all dirty. But luckily my clothes aren't THE red and green associated with Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, this is what I want: Something/someone that/who will kill all bugs that come within ten feet of me. If that's too expensive to get, then the 10 feet can be changed to five feet.

Happy Birthday to You

So apparently the HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG is universal, just like the THUMBS UP sign.

It was Na-Rock's birthday, and I tried wishing her a happy birthday for a good five minutes until finally I tried singing the song. It worked. The confused face turned into one with all smiles. When all else fails, just turn what you're doing into a song!

Roadkill?

The dogs have been fighting so much--at all hours of the day--and getting into rooms that they shouldn't be in. So when we spot them in these places (like the dining/homework/tv area), Akhom locks the dogs in there and beats them! Seriously. He takes a long stick and [lightly] hits them, and most recently, he took a sling shot and flung rocks at them. But I don't think it works because the dogs still show up in all the forbidden places! I think they're beyond training....

As for other animals, they think they own the world. For some reason, they LOVE to sit in the middle of the road. And for some reason, there is absolutely no roadkill. So we've gotta swerve around the occasional dog, chicken, cow....

There Are 24 Hours in a Day--That's Life

Life past Musekee isn't quite reality yet. I know my timeline of events, and I can somewhat picture myself in snapshots of them, but I can't quite be there yet. It's hard being suddenly whisked away. Same with things like graduation. I wish I could gradually ween myself away. I start spending 23 hrs/day here and 1 hr in America...all the way down to 1 hr/day, then zero.

But I know physical separation doesn't mean mental and spiritual separation. They'll always be with me.

ENTERTAINING ANGELS

I sometimes feel like I was put on this earth for entertainment purposes. Twenty three years ago, I think God realized that the angels needed someone to cheer them up after a tough, stressful day.

So He made me.

Whenever angels complain after being sent to the ER or accident sites, God says, "Don't worry. You can visit Jessica afterwards." Looking back on my life, it's a story of embarrassing events/ridiculousness.

You know how I let the twins watch TV after doing their homework? (This is when we stayed at the Nang Fah house in Chiang Mai.) Well, they both chose to watch a movie (they usually watch music videos). And this movie was in English (they don't understand English!!). And this movie was called "ANTS". And I had to watch it with them.

And you know my ant history. I could hear angels laughing as I spotted each new ant army and tried so ungracefully to exterminate them.

I think this whole entertaining angels thing has carried over to entertaining children. Up til now, I've been pretty good about handling bugs. But I cracked. It took longer than I thought it would, though.

After the kids finished dinner, I spotted a dog in the area (they're not allowed in this room). So I stomped and scared it out the door. As I close the door, I see this huge fuzzy THING on the door frame. I don't even know how to explain it. It's huge. And fuzzy. So I scream and run. One by one, the girls who are cleaning up taking a daring step to get a better look...and they scream too. Thankfully. Finally one brave boy puts it on a stick but proceeds to chase me around with it. It was one of the most frightening times in my life. But the kids just sat there staring at me, watching this suspenseful drama unfold. They loved it so much. I didn't think it was that amusing.

How Do You Say "Jessica" in English?

I'm pretty sure everyone thinks "Jessica" is Chinese. Umm, no!

Some of the kids and staff have been telling me what their name means in Thai and Karen. They asked what "Jessica" means. Then they asked what "Jessica" is in English. They think "Jessica" is Chinese.

I don't know what other hypotheses they've made about me, but I have a feeling that they're wrong. Yikes. They have a hard time realizing that not all Americans are light skinned with light hair!

A Conversation

The following conversation has been running through my head a lot lately:

[Phone rings]

Mom: Hello?
Me: Hi Mom!!
Mom: Jess! SO good to hear your voice (etc etc etc).
Me: Yeah. Same here! Umm...
Mom: Are you okay?? How are you? Where are you? What are you doing?
Me: Umm, I need another plane ticket home.
Mom: But your ticket is electronic! So you can just print it out when you get to the airport.
Me: No, I need another one in addition to mine.
Mom: What are you talking about?
Me: You see, I'm kind of bringing home someone. I adopted a kid. Well, not exactly adopt. I'm just bringing her home. But she's SOO cute. I couldn't NOT take her. She NEEDS me. The most adorable thing ever. You'd love her too! I know you will. And I'll probably need a bigger apartment in Chicago. Or maybe we shouldn't even sell the house. Or maybe I should take another year off. Maybe you can even move back to Illinois? I'm so glad you picked up the phone because I knew you'd understand!

Scenario 1 (the most desirable one):
Mom: Oh wow! Well, I'm glad she's cute. I can't wait to see the two of you. Okay, I'll get another plane ticket. And I'll buy her some cute clothes so she'll have fun things to wear when she gets here. See you soon!
Me: Great, thanks! Love you!

Scenario 2:
Well, I haven't exactly imagined a Scenario 2 because I always just assume Scenario 1 will come true.

Coca-Cola

Oh, and I got Coke at the store. The girls asked if I was going to get anything, so I browsed around & the decision was very, very easy.

I am totally a Coca-Cola girl through & through. So nice & refreshing. I saw a Coke commercial the other day here that was also a heart-warming experience. Haha. I'm happy to be part of the family.

Bamboo, Bees, and Bananas

The mornings are so enjoyable here. Spending time with the kids as they do chores and get ready for school. Nice & pleasant.

I spent the morning weaving my shirt and creating the template for another shirt. It was this intricate template. Purple, black, and white--they look really nice together! But right before lunch, Methom realized we miscalculated it. So we took it apart. All my hard work rolled up into thread balls. But I am a lot better and rolling balls now, which is a plus.

Lunchtime. All the staff gathers together and just eats in an area outside the store. Lots of food and fun. But today, Tanin shows up with a cross section of a bee hive. I'm thinking that maybe they're getting the honey, yum. But no. Tanin's cousin went out at night and threw fire into the tree, all for the purpose of getting the bees. TO EAT. So some guy cooks the bees in a soup...you see the white larvae, the middle-aged bees, and the old guys. They all say that the bee is their favorite 'animal' to eat. (Animal? More like INSECT!) Then pig, then chicken.

So I'm inches away from eating one--my eyes are closed, my mouth's open, and someone's holding a spoon right there--until Wanakam (a really sweet lady who does the accounting here) yells, "NO!" Apparently some people get really bad allergic reactions to eating bees and she didn't want a visitor taking the risk. Whew.

Then I see a guy bringing in a huge bunch of bananas. It looks like monkey heaven. So cool. And then someone brought part of a bamboo tree for us to eat. This all just blows my mind.

About 10 girls went to Chiang Mai today. The Jem Luang school kids are divided into several groups; each village has groups, and our center has 3 or 4. The teachers choose the best overall group to go on this excursion. So I'm proud of these girls! They took off in the back of a pick-up truck...hopefully none of them get carsick.

The dancing girls & I also made the final video today. YES. They are such good sports and work hard, so I took them to the store down the road afterwards. That made them very happy. :)

I'm speaking tonight. And I'm supposed to cook spaghetti. (Karen spaghetti). But I have no clue how to work their cooking things, so hopefully I can get out of it....hehe.

P.S. I have pictures of the bees. And the bee soup. Not quite pea soup.

boy oh boy.

Two ant farms on the ceiling. Not too horrible. But the can of ant spray was basically empty. It weakly sprayed and the ants probably laughed at me. UGH. Tanin graciously offered to look for some more. The last episode of their favorite TV drama just started, but we quickly ran out in the rain to the staff kitchen to look. Minutes later, I see a familiar can on a shelf. YES. And there’s still some liquid in it. YES. I attack; they drop like rain. Boy, am I glad I’m not an ant!

So this TV show’s finale is ridiculous like all other shows. It takes place in the forest, there are random Frenchmen, people in cowboy hats… The fight scenes are like high school plays. And the acting is even worse—it wouldn’t be bad if high schoolers were acting, but these are adults!

But parts of the show scare me. I hide behind a child and pretend I'm not interested. But really, I just can't watch! So I probably shouldn’t be making fun of them.

I woke up with my glasses on and a bookmark right under my chin. I definitely could see my dreams clearly (that’s what my mom says every time I fall asleep with my glasses on), as I dreamt of ants. Yuck. I won’t dwell on the hours of 9:30pm-5am.

Once I stepped outside, though, all was well with the world. We got the Sihamit kids to school, hung out with Tanin & Ahkom at breakfast (Tete had to bring a couple sick children to the hospital), cut up a durian. Yum??

Now Nethom is teaching me how to make my own Karen shirt. YES! She’s the lady in charge of the crafts who took me on the excursion to the resort. Earlier, she bought me stuff to put on my mosquito bites. They’re still HUGE from that Chiang Mai house. When she came back from the corner store, another woman came over and both of them slathered me in the mosquito stuff. I feel minty and tingly, it’s great! But I really hope I don’t have malaria….

As for the weaving, wow. I made a ‘template’ of sorts by twirling and twisting the thread over and over around a few sticks (I have pictures!), then Nethom began the actual weaving. She did some fancy design and tomorrow, I’ll do the simple part. Haha. But it’s unbelievable how you can make all these designs just by sticking a couple sticks in the thread a certain way. So cool.

After lunch, it’s back to the songbook. We’ve gotta copy and paste the Thai next to the English….

Oh, and I got chicken poop all over my leg. And it’s raining. I hope I get no ant visitors today. Or ever.

NOOOOOOOOO.

So I had a great time with the kids, then I go back to my room and see…ANTS. Luckily, I randomly asked for ant spray because I saw some in the bathroom earlier. Nothing major. But I walk in the room and gradually notice them everywhere. Well, everywhere but the bed (THANK GOD). But yes, everywhere else. And big ones in the bathroom. It’s ridiculous. So I spray & spray & spray. With each army I see, I spray with more oomph. There’s not much left in the can, though, so hopefully no more appear. Dear Lord, no more ants. Or anything else. PLEASE.

As I sprayed, I heard things drop to the ground. Like a water droplet hitting the ground. Somewhat pleasing to my ears, but somewhat disgusting as well. Now the smell’s everywhere, though. The sink’s full of dead ones. And the floor. Eww.

There’s also this huge flying bug that’s dying. It’s still trying to fly, but in doing so, it’s making awful sounds. And I went out to the porch because I remembered putting a plastic bag there. I picked it up, and next to it was a giant cicada. I don’t know what animals eat cicadas, but this is the equivalent to a King Size Snickers bar.

This is not fun!

OYE.

The girls wanted me to sleep in the bed with them, which was totally fine with me. But it was SO hot. The air conditioning didn’t work (I was amazed that there was air conditioning in the house in the first place!), and I just couldn’t sleep. So I go lay on the couch in the other room and pretty soon, both girls are staring at me. Haha. So we all go back to the bed. But at 2:30am, Yupin yells my name and shows me Yupa’s shirt. It’s soaked with sweat. I make the executive decision that we all go to the sofa and sleep, playing footsie all night.

I got SO many mosquito bites from this house.

The ride back was uneventful. I slept pretty much the whole way back…

But I’m back now!! Musekee. I snuck into their service, and it was so wonderful to see their faces. :) And they said the sweetest things to me.

Tonight at worship, Tanin told the kids to pray for me. I’m going back to America soon, and it will be hard to talk to me. But what they can do is pray. And smile.

Wow.

Now I’m helping them with homework. These kids are all going to have CHICAGO ACCENTS!! But their homework is way too hard for them, so I’m basically doing it for them. And I don’t know one of the answers. It’s a picture of a red sweater. Six letters. The second one is “u”. Umm…? I can only think of “jumper”, but I know that’s not right. I’ve already had to decipher a lot since the kids don’t always copy words from the chalk board correctly. AH.

I don’t know how these kids are supposed to understand their reading passages. Listening to Bon Jovi? Going to the disco?

And I wrote in Somsi’s book. She then made the motion of a teacher hitting her hand. Oops! We had to white it out.

Elephants & Monkeys

We’ve been listening to a country music station in the car. They call themselves “country” but play songs like “Losing My Religion” and all my high school dance theme songs (“Stairway to Heaven”, “Highway to the Danger Zone”, you get the picture). Haha.

Elephant camp. Elephants are cute from afar and just HUGE & wrinkly from up close. They did a hilarious show, then we rode one! Bumpy ride. I thought the twins were gonna fall out of the cart. We also went to a monkey place where all these monkeys did tricks. Entertain, entertain! It was kind of bizarre, but whatever.

Afterwards, we picked up a girl who used to live at the center in Musekee. Lepau (I think), who Janna (the amazing person who told me about the HRDC!) sponsors. We all went to the Nang Fa house, which is a project Tete’s working on. A fashion designer contacted her about starting a project where bar girls can come live and make purses, etc etc. So this designer rented a house and we went to check it out, clean it, figure out what needs to be done…And it’s a really nice place! Part of it used to be a coffee shop (if I opened a coffee shop, it’d look like this one), and two words that come to mind in describing it are “boho chic”. I think the owner of the house has a clothing business with a factory nearby.

Anyway, right now the twins and I are staying in the house for the night. We’ve hit some minor bumps, but everyone’s still alive. The girls were really excited about taking a bath, but I turned on the water, and mud came out. I let it run for awhile, but the water only turned to yellow. So I gave them baths in the sink. :) But when I got to the 2nd girl, the sink all of a sudden clogged up so the water wouldn’t go down.

Oh, and Yupin did her business on the toilet…and couldn’t flush it down. YIKES. I’ve been wondering how these girls stay so skinny because they eat tons. I mean, TONS. They’re also very active, and I’m sure the calories get burned with their constant movement, but wow. So I go in the bathroom, and she’s using this water sprayer and shooting water at it. Hahaha. By now, Yupa is all curious, so I have to go tell her to do her homework (again). I check and see if she’s actually doing it, and all I see is drawing. I have no clue how to make sure it’s her real homework, but whatever.

Minutes later, I hear an excited voice. The toilet bowl’s clear. Yes.

The girls eventually finish their homework (both did a drawing…), then I let one of them watch TV & the other play Minesweeper on the computer. Now their watching the movie, Ants, on TV. In English!!

[I just learned how to play Minesweeper. Wow. Cool game!!!]

Chiang Mai

I just talked to my family. :)

We left the center earlier than planned, so I didn’t get to say goodbye to the kiddos. But it’s okay. Instead of doing the “sabadi ka” thing with the hands in prayer position, the girls and I make a heart shape. So every morning before school, we do that. They know I love them.

We rode with one of the truck drivers. Five of us in the front. Hahaha. Tete and I each had a twin on our lap. It’s definitely something I’ve never experienced before, but it was actually comfortable. Like a human seatbelt to help with shock of the bumpy road. And you just ignore the tingling on your legs and the sweaty-ness. We stopped by the compassion farm on the way there to drop off some materials and look at the pigs. Yes. Yupa picked up a little chick off the ground and had a ball playing with it. Then she started throwing it in the air and catching it. Yikes. We met Tete’s husband halfway to Chiang Mai in the middle of the road, and our driver traded spots with him. There’s always the unexpected.

I like being back in this area of Chiang Mai. This is my third time at this hotel, so it’s nice and familiar. Tete and the girls came up with me to my room—nothing out of the ordinary, nothing spectacular—but I knew it’d be an adventure for the just from the elevator ride up. Mirrors on the walls of the elevator? Wow! And then we get to the room, and they marveled at the sights and sounds beyond the window. It’s mainly rooftops, but I guess the tenth floor is pretty high! And the girls couldn’t get enough of the bathroom. They kept flushing the toilet, turning on the shower, looking at the mirror above the sink. And they’d body slam themselves onto the bed. I’m glad they came. I wish they could spend the night with me, but I guess the language barrier might have made it a bit difficult!

So I utilized the free wi-fi, sent the family an email to call me (I still can’t figure out how to use the phone card…), went to my favorite coffee stand to get a cappuccino. Yes. And then I got McDonald’s. I feel horrible getting it. But it was the only place I knew of where I could get something to go. I walk in, and all I hear is English. Haha. But the people at the registers aren’t quite fluent in obese people language (aka English), so I just hold up five fingers. I’m getting a number five. With Coke Zero. I haven’t tasted this stuff in a long while. Now that I’ve already succumbed to McD’s, I might as well go across the street to Starbucks, right? I see signs for some Asian-inspired drinks with that black jelly in them, so I walk across the street. But I realized I’m already holding two caffeinated products; I don’t need another one. And how am I going to bring three drinks and a bag of food back to my room? I don’t know. Bad idea.

It’s always nice knowing that family is always a phone call away.

Wake up call at 6am. Long day tomorrow. It’s 12:45am. Too much caffeine!!

Weird

So after breakfast, I hear someone shouting my name. I run out, and the lady in charge of the crafts store motions me to follow her. She briskly walks, and I try my hardest to keep up, trying to navigate the crazy terrain. (All my Vandy friends accuse me of walking fast, but I’m a turtle compared to these people.) We end up at her motorbike. I get on. She drives. Now, she doesn’t know much English at all, so I have no clue where we’re going. I recognize the Chem/Jem Luang School as we pass by, and we make a couple stops along the way. We’re zooming through the middle of nowhere, but I just hang on tight to the seat. Eventually, we end up at a place with signs that read, “Ecological tourism project” or something. And after I get off the bike and throw my tangled hair out of my face, I notice that we’re at a REALLY NICE place. The people there are wearing shirts that say, “Le Musikee Resort”, www.lemusikeeresort.com. Hmm. Now, I know I’m supposed to weave a Karen shirt with this lady, so I’m thinking that maybe the supplies are here. We walk around, admire the grounds. Then get back on the bike. Okay, I was wrong. Another crazy ride to who knows where.

We end up back at the center. Umm…?? She motions “5 minutes” to me, so I go to my room and sit there in confusion for 5 minutes. Then we meet at the staff dining area, she puts some thread in a bowl of water, throws cooked rice in there, and starts kneading. We knead for awhile, shake the rice out, then hang the thread on a bamboo stick. Okay. Step 1 of making Karen clothes. Got it.

I then motioned to the craft room because I want to get Jah-Leh a Karen shirt. Today, most of the kids are supposed to wear Karen clothes to school. I jokingly give the boys dirty looks as everyone lines up before school because the girls always have their bags, etc. Once the songs and prayers are over, the girls turn right and walk straight to school. But the boys. The boys never have their books. And some aren’t even dressed, so there’s a mad dash back to their rooms. Today, Jah-Leh wasn’t ready at all. And he was the last to leave. I spotted him walking out in non-school clothes, and when he saw me, he made a mad dash to hide. We then realized that he doesn’t have a Karen shirt. Oops, I feel bad for teasing him. Poor kid. So I told the crafts lady that I want to buy him one. I picked out a nice red one with cool stitching. It was the manliest one. We went to his bed, the lady wrote his name on a piece of paper (and I added a heart and smiley face), and I hope it’s a pleasant surprise.

KITTING DIG MAK MAK

I woke up at 5am today. I always have to turn on the light to check my watch because it’s still completely dark out. I cringed when seeing that minute hand on the 12. An extra 30 minutes would have been nice.

The kids take rice to school every morning. Sometimes vegetables too, but their schools provide the non-rice elements. It takes some getting used to because when you hug them, you feel warmth from the bag of rice sitting in their bags. :)

Piraporn was sad before he left for school. I hugged him for awhile, then Tanin talked to him. The boys here tease each other, which is natural, and I think he’s just the sensitive type. Aww, I fell in love with the sensitive one. ;-)

Kitting dig mak mak
Kitting dig tisoot
= I miss the children a lot

I’ve been feeling a sharpness every so often in the bottom of my foot. Like I’m stepping on a rock or something. I’ll let out the occasional “ow”, but there’s no rock to brush away. Puzzling. But I finally discovered that there’s a rock lodged in the bottom of my shoe that pushed its way through to the other side. So Akhom’s helping me take it out right now. These flip flops are definitely going in the garbage when I leave.

Another Sunny Day

We’re going to Chiang Mai tomorrow. At dinner, I asked Tete if the twins are going, and she said we can surprise them with a weekend trip. :) That makes my heart lighter. I’m really sad to be leaving the kids again. But I’ll get lots of nail polish this time. (We’re going to the elephant camp, a pig farm to observe and learn, and clean the house of one of the new projects, Nang Fa.)

After school, I hung out in one of the girl dorms. They were hiding behind doors and trying to scare me, tickle me, sing songs. But the stairs are so steep! And uneven. I don’t know how they’ve mastered going up & down. I walk down the stairs like an old lady. By the time I hit the ground, the girls are long gone. I also played takraw with some of the kids. OUCH. Do not play with flip flops. It’s funny how the kids play wearing everything. Their bags on a shoulder, wearing sweaters, scarves, school uniforms—skirts, flip flops!

Waraporn asked me to go with her down the road to the store. She said, “Go buy cookies!” Haha. But it was actually a donut-type thing. She was trying to buy me snacks with the little money she has, and even tried (sometimes successfully) to shove snacks into my mouth. But I finally convinced her to let me buy her something. She picked out these big jelly cups. 10 baht for two. WHOA. Pennies! But her generosity blows me away. These kids are true gems. I can’t say it enough.

The staff and I make a great team with homework. I was just informed that the high schoolers have been turning in perfect English assignments. Haha.

For some reason, it was really hard saying goodnight today. Somsi was the first to give me a big hug before going to her room, and I was sad to see her go to bed. Same with all the rest of the kids. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m weird, I know. They’re just so sweet. Today, a bunch of them asked, “Are you tired? Did you sleep well?” I think the word spread that I went to my room at 7:50pm (I didn’t actually go to bed until 9:30pm, but they don’t know that), so they worried about me. One of them even had a dream that I got sick. And it made him sad. I don’t want to go to Chiang Mai tomorrow!!

I DON'T KNOW

I feel so much better. Yes.

I read about Moses and the plagues before falling asleep. Yikes. It made me thankful and grossed out. The last memory I have is wondering what I’d do if God told me to drink toilet water. Would I do it or not? I still don’t know.

8 hours of sleep. Yes.

I’ve been saying, “I don’t know” a lot here. If someone asks what I’m doing tomorrow, I have no answer. I really do live day to day. I don’t ask many questions (I’m partly scared of the answer, but I mostly just don’t care!); I just let things happen. Since the beginning of this trip, the song, “I Don’t Know About Tomorrow” has been in my head. It’s an oldie! In the old HRDC music book, it’s the last song, so it comes to mind every time I say, “I don’t know.”

I just know Who holds my hand.

After breakfast, we went to the store to get some supplies for one of the centers in a different village. Snacks for the kids, noodles, eggs…One of the girls who recently graduated from college works at the store, and as she put the stack of eggs in the truck, one cracked. I just squeezed it out of the carton & threw it on the ground. Haha. One of the convenient aspects of village life. :) Then Tanin came back with bags of rice, and off we went. Tete, Tanin, and me in the front of the truck winding around incredibly crazy roads. Whew!

Some of the kids at our center used to live in the center we visited. But the school there only has kids ages 6-12, so they get transferred to Ban Mai (the name of our village, which is in the greater Musekee area) after sixth grade.

Cuteeee kids. I went to one of the houses with Tanin and met with the village people (Y-M-C-A! Haha). Neat experience. Really neat, actually. Sat on their bamboo floors. Surprisingly sturdy. Smiled at kids. Sat there in awe. We then walked a little bit down the path to find Tete. She was getting information about the supplies the center needs (like wood, cement, bamboo, etc.) There were trees and colorful flowers everywhere. Coffee! Mango trees. Orchids.

We had lunch at the school and I signed the guestbook. I flipped back a few pages and saw instantly recognized the handwriting. Beatrice. It made me so so so happy. :)

Tanin bought two little chickens. Gave the guy 100 baht, but the guy said that was too much, so he gave Tanin four chickens. So we drove back the bumpy road with four chickens behind the driver’s seat. I named one Piraporn.

CLOSE CALL

Oh boy. Today was a combination of fun and the complete opposite. I did two stupid things (if it weren’t for grace & miracles, I’d be an Old Testament victim): 1. I took my malaria pill in the morning on an empty stomach and 2. I didn’t drink coffee. (The first day I got here, I was totally prepared to get myself off of my caffeine addiction. But they have these little packets of Nescafe and Alibaba coffee…and hot water. And the rest is history.)

I went with Tanin to take the Chem/Jem Luang kids to school. (Piraporn sat in front with us, AND their uniform for today looks like a sailor outfit, complete with this cute cute cute hat. I have pictures.)

We get back, and I’m exhausted. A tiny voice in my head said I had THE S.F. And for some stupid reason, I didn’t make that cup of coffee. But Radri comes and whisks me off on her motorbike, and soon we’re at Sahamit school. Ugh. Like, all I wanted to do was sprawl out on the floor. But instead, I went to class after class as the center of attention. I answered questions, asked questions, taught songs with motions. I don’t know how I did it.

But minute by minute, all my S.F. symptoms went away. By afternoon, I did those song motions with a little more oomph, and life was good.

These kids, wow. First of all, each class eventually asked for my email. Each class (except 2nd grade) asked if I had a boyfriend. All the classes asked me to sing them a song. At least one kid in each class said, “Wo ai ni” & asked me to teach them Chinese. And two boys (in two different 9th grade classes) asked me to sign their school uniforms. Which I did. And I even put a big heart over the “i”. Hehe. It was a riot. Oh, and another kid serenaded me with the only English song he knows, which just so happens to be called “I love you” or something like that. I got it on video. The best part is when his voice cracks on the very last note. :)

And I saw Lalida. What a doll. We did the “wah pah low love” dance to each other from across the courtyard. One of the 2nd grade classes sang the “One little, two little, three little Indians” song…except it sounded like “India’s.” Haha. After school, the kids have 30 minutes of free time. Since it was raining, we hung out in Lalida’s classroom. One of her classmates showed me a picture of something she drew; it was REALLLY good. She asked me to draw something on the other side, but since I can only draw stick figures, I quickly thought of something I do know: bubble letters. So I wrote her name in bubble letters with hearts, etc etc. Pretty soon the whole class lined up, and I was still there after the bell rang….

But the funniest part is how they wrote “Jessica” all over their notebooks. I have no clue why. And I also have no clue why they call me “Peesica” or “Peejessica”. Crazy kids.

Long long long day. Tired. Headache. It’s only 9:30, but I AM GOING TO BED!!

PAH WAH LOW LOVE!!!

PAH WAH LOW LOOOVE!

“Pah wah low la la la la love you!” <--crazy Thai pop song

So I’ve been singing this Thai song a lot with the kids, complete with the dance moves! [During “Pah wah low love”, you swing your arms and hips back and forth. Then on “you”, you make a heart above your head, kick a leg back, and shake your hips/butt vigorously.]

After worship (another night of utter joy), I hung out in one of the girl dorms. We sang, danced, and I helped the high schoolers with homework. One of the girls proclaimed that her boyfriend is “Study”! Haha. Then another one said her boyfriend is Harry Potter. Hehe. And she rolls the R’s in “Harry”, so it’s adorable when she talks about him.

I la la la la love these kids.

[I also videotaped the kids doing motions to a couple of the songs. The goal is to teach them the songs so they know it really well, then they can teach the other kids after I leave. I almost cried. Their faces, wow. So passionate about it all.]

CHEM/JEM LUANG SCHOOL

CHEM LUANG SCHOOL/JEM LUANG SCHOOL

I spent the day at Chem Luang School. Some people call it Jem Luang School. I dunno. Both sound fine to me!

One of the girls who was sponsored by the HRDC just graduated from college with a degree in English, so she goes to Chem/Jem Luang School on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Sahamit School on Wednesdays. Chem/Jem Luang school is run by the government, and all of our elementary school & middle school kids go there. Sahamit School is a private Christian school, and even though it’s for all ages, only our high schoolers go there.

Okay. So Radri asked me to go with her to school this week, and that’s all the information I get. We get to the first grade class, and she asks me to teach them a lesson. Umm…

I miraculously came up with things to do. I don’t know how I did it, but I have a feeling that all of life’s events up to this point have somehow equipped my quick thinking skills. We had a blast!

Then off to second grade. Yupin & Yupa’s class. So much fun! After that, fifth grade. Here is where hilarity comes into the picture. Since these kids were older, we had them ask me questions, then I asked them questions.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” “Is your sister younger or older?” “Oh, is your sister beautiful??” [me: yes, very!] “Oooo!!” “Do you have a boyfriend?” [me: what do you think?] “YES, of course!” [me: nope] “YAYYY!!!” Etc etc.

In one class, a girl came in holding a big cicada. Umm, what?

School was fun. The teachers are great. And it was a blast seeing the kids from the center. A lot more relaxed in some respects than the schools I went to, but it’s amazing that they even have school.

But it was raining this morning. Some kids ran off to school, but others stayed behind because the roads are really horrible. Unfortunately, none of the 4 wheel drive trucks were here, so we couldn’t drive them to school. Once the sky cleared up, though, we piled them into a truck…However, ALL of the boys had already changed out of their school uniforms. Hahaha.
Oh, and I wore flip flops today. Why? I don’t know. But I definitely stepped in MUD. Since we take off our shoes before entering the classrooms, I walked into each one with a foot covered in dry mud.

PIRAPORN

Piraporn & Tosiporn’s dad came tonight. I don’t think I’ve mentioned these boys yet, which is odd. Because they are so darn cute. Their mom says they’re twins (13 yrs old), but they’re these two tiny boys that don’t look like twins.

And Piraporn is my little boyfriend. Hands down the cutest. I hug him every day. And when the kids don’t believe me when I say I don’t have a boyfriend, I say, “Okay, fine! It’s Piraporn.” And I make a heart shape with my hands. Then the girls go chase after him, squealing.

Tanit is the second cutest kiddo. He always wears something on his head. I think he’s embarrassed by his hair cut (it’s the shortest out of all the boys, but oh so adorable). So my goal is to make him take off those hats, hoods, etc before I leave here. He actually took the hood off of a jacket and just wears it. Like, he puts the hood on and buttons the buttons under his chin. So whenever I see him, I say, “Tuh law.”

“You’re handsome.”

Hehe. I also take at least one picture of Piraporn and Tanit every day, and when I miss the kids while they’re at school, all I have to do is turn on my camera.

So anyway, Piraporn & Tosiporn’s dad came to dinner (Karen culture: you can just show up whenever, and you’re always welcome, which happens a lot here!). He drove 11 hours on his motorbike. He has 12 kids. And the family is really, really poor. He had to bring us some school papers and personal information about the boys. We just opened the package up, and the papers are wrapped in a flimsy, ripped plastic bag. After sorting through the papers, we unearthed little pictures of each boy. I got one of each, and I’m going to keep them in the pocket of my Moleskine.

This just totally made my day.

I’ve been serving meals as much as I can. The kids can come up for more food if they want, and whenever Piraporn comes up, his plate is spotless. Not a grain of rice left. WOW. And we think some of these kids were malnourished when brought to the center, so I always give HUGE scoops of rice. Haha.

“Cow mai??” = “More rice??”

I woke up today realizing that today’s the day of the PURSUE Pro-Am. I hope it went well.

What Consequences?

We had an eventful morning. We were going to take the Sihamit school kids (our high schoolers go here) to school, but then one of the truck drivers (which is a big story in itself…I’ll tell you about it when I tell you Tete’s story) came back & was going to take the kids to school on his way back to Chiang Mai instead. So the kids pile into the truck, but it won’t start. So they pile back out and push it until the engine purrs itself back to life. They’re off. And I pray that they get to school safely. Then all of a sudden we hear this LOUD squawking. Actually, it’s not even a squawking. I don’t know how to explain it. But it’s loud. Tanin runs off without a word & comes back holding a chicken. The dog attacked it. Bad dog! So the chicken (yes, it’s a pet chicken) gets some tender loving care, then we have breakfast. I look at my watch & conclude that it’s way too early to have this sort of excitement.

Our breakfast conversation led me to another conclusion: I am so glad I don’t live in Old Testament times. As Tete puts it, “If I lived back then, I’d be gone a long time ago. Or I wouldn’t have even been born!” Small lapses of faith led to big consequences. Hagar and Ishmael. Can you imagine watching your son die in the desert? All because of Sarah’s impulsive decision. Luckily, Ishmael survived. And Moses striking that rock in anger. Etc etc.

We have to live a deliberate life. And with the New Testament, we have grace now, which is a life saver. We don’t get struck down; we get second chances.

I spent the morning on the computer finishing that song book. It’s almost ready to hit the press. Yes.

After the kids came back from school, I taught a handful of girls—and one boy, Saksiy!—some motions to three songs. Originally, 7 girls volunteered. But in the past few days, more people have come up to me and said, “I want to dance!” And to make their point clear, they wave their hands in the air & do some hip shaking; it’s cute. After singing “Still” yesterday, I’ve heard several children humming the song. So I decided to put motions to it. I don’t have a full-length mirror or anything like that, so I’ve been making up the motions in my head. Haha. Tweaking them here & there. I finally got the finished product, and boy, the kids learn fast! I quickly had to figure out how to say “left” and “right”, but once I got that down, it was smooth sailing.

“I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U love you!”

WHOA

Okay, we had worship three times today. Morning, afternoon, evening. Whoa. But it was all so enjoyable. Everyone wears the traditional Karen attire, and the kids are beyond adorable. Lalida, Yupin, and Yupa (ßactual spelling) were there. In Chiang Mai, the girls each got small dolls, which they brought to worship. The head fell off of Yupin’s during the message, and we couldn’t stop laughing. I felt bad goofing off with the girls, but they weren’t paying attention in the first place & I already read through the passage (James 1:19-27, VERY fitting for the drama that’s been taking place)…and it’s not like I understand what Tanin’s saying. I know, excuses.

Sunaree gave me a bracelet after lunch. Braided purple thread with four pretty beads. Wow. She’s got a smile back on her face. And Somsi gave me a bracelet during evening worship. Wow. Funny how that worked out. I guess she’s happy again too. I’ve got the bracelets on my wrist now, and I intend on keeping them here forever.

Tonight’s worship was the best yet. Fun & crazy. We danced all over the place, so JOYFUL. I’m sure we looked ridiculous, but we were just giving an outward display of this freedom we have in knowing what we believe. I didn’t want it to end. Laughter everywhere.

Oh, and since we already had ‘worship’ 2x today, I asked if there was the normal evening worship. Tanin said, “Yes. You’re sharing tonight!” Oh yeah. I already had a rough idea but last minute thought of a verse that was applicable to both the sharing and the moment: Philippians 4:6.

MUSIC VIDEOS. Double whoa. I catch myself humming ridiculous Thai songs, yikes. And the three little girls (Lalida, Yupin, and Yupa) watch wayyy too much TV. After the afternoon worship service, they gave a performance of several pop songs, complete with the boy band dancing. Hilarious. I got it all on video. :) But unfortunately, I knew about 75% of it….

But it’s funny when the songs have the occasional English phrase, such as: “Ooo, baby girl!” or “one kiss” or “I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U love you!”

But it’s even funnier when the kids have no clue what they’re saying. They’re usually asking what this & that mean, but when they say the English, it’s incoherent. Probably because the Thai pop singer’s version is also incoherent. So it becomes “I-L-V-V-V-Y-U-U lub you!”

I love these children. Completely.

STILL TIRED

I slept well, and I woke up remembering my dream for the second day since being here. Two nights ago, people from home were in my dream. Last night, I dreamt that I was here in Musekee. That’s probably why I’m still tired…we work a lot during the day, and then I’m still working in my dreams at night.

The kiddos (mainly the girls) polished off the nail polish already. I think it’s been gone for a couple days, wow. I would’ve bought more had I known!

Today at breakfast, Tanin said that during Sunday worship, he usually sings a song during devotion/prayer/verse memory time. But he has a sore throat. So I have to do the special song. I asked what time worship is. 9 o’clock. What time is it now? 8:45. But I’m used to this trickery. I know his voice is in tact; he is such a booger. I’m deciding between “Still” & “Cry in My Heart”…I think I’ll sing “Still”. It’s the Sabbath day, after all.

“Find rest, my soul.”
Sunaree is still upset. :(

MY BUTT & DRAMA

My butt hurts. We don’t sit on anything cushiony. Just plastic or wood chairs. Wood floor. The earth, which is sometimes prickly.

And I’m tempted to cut my hair. Or have one of the girls cut my hair.

I witnessed my first sight of drama tonight. Sunaree (pre-teen girl who is always poking my sides and is usually smiling & giggling) was sullen & quiet at dinner. I sat next to her, and she kept saying she was okay. But she showed up to worship with tears in her eyes. I know some of them are little kids & will bounce right back, but I’m sure it’s hard growing up away from home. Sunaree’s the same girl who saw that I got spiky things all over my pants from working in the field. So she made me take off my shoes & put my legs across her lap so she could pick off each thorn one by one. Her gesture totally shows that her heart’s got gold in it.

And Somsi. She asked if I wanted to try her food last night (the kids and staff eat at different times…we usually serve the kids, then go somewhere else to eat when they’re done), and I teasingly put my mouth right up next to her spoon. She then put some sauce in it & shoved it in my mouth. It looked like soy sauce. It wasn’t. My mouth was on FIRE. She felt so bad about it & gave me heaps and heaps of rice to cool it down. Haha. But tonight, there was a small misunderstanding between her & another girl. So Somsi also came to worship with tears in her eyes.

I want so badly to fix their sadness & to tell them that life is too short to be upset about the little things. But right now, Tete’s talking to the kids about loving each other. The newest group of kids came here to the center about a month ago (I would’ve never known!), and there are many more on the waitlist to be sponsored (I think it’s $20/month). So the group dynamics are always changing. It’s so cool how Tete’s talking about all this now because it’s like an answered prayer. :)

SUNNY DAY

“Sunny days, keeping the clouds away. I think we’re coming to a clearing & a brighter day…”

They have the weirdest creatures here. Plants too. While pulling weeds, I found one that closes its leaves when exposed. You just watch the bluish-purplish-greenish leaves slowly fold in. Wow. I saw a big bug that looks like a turtle. Gross. A lizard in my room. Yikes. A flurry creature scurry out of my room. AHHH! But the coolest is when you unexpectedly see a beautiful flower in the middle of nowhere. Or in the middle of some thorny weeds. That’s always a pleasant surprise.

I’m getting better about bugs. I’ve become pretty good at flicking them off of me, but I always use hand sanitizer after I touch one. And I’m starting to feel bad about the spider that’s squished underneath a lamp in Joanna’s room at our IL house. I probably shouldn’t have left it there. But I feel like the more I acclimate to the buggy environment, the more nasty bugs I see. It’s God’s way of only throwing at me what I can handle. But no more, okay? Please?

I just finished rolling a ball of thread. And I helped one girl do her weaving. It is SO neat how they make their crafts. All they need is wood, thread, and dye. And they whip up something beautiful. But rolling the ball, man! I can’t tell you how many times I dropped it. It was a pretty purple, which at least made it pleasant to look at. I am very proud of myself. Very productive afternoon, haha.

And it’s sunny. The first completely sunny day. Makes me very very happy.

SLEEPING IN

I slept in til 7. :) And I fell asleep to laughter. Life is good.

The kids just pick things off trees and eat them. No water or soap. I guess they’re accustomed to the taste of dirt. I’m still kind of scared of dirt (after all, it’s dirty). But the kids always smell so fresh and sweet. I’m glad they at least use soap for their bodies.

I’m tired, but a good kind of tired. We spent the whole morning in the fields pulling weeds. I was already tired just from walking there, yikes. We worked in the peanut field, yum. They have beautiful little yellow flowers that look like mini orchids. I think I pulled more weeds today than my whole life combined. Whenever my mom asks me to help her, I always say that I’ll be right out. Ha. She’s usually done by the time I make the long trek out the door. (I know, I’m a horrible daughter.) But it’s really not too bad! Especially when you’re working with friends. And when they give you popsicles.

Waraporn came up to me about 30 minutes into the weed pulling & said, “You! Sit!” Then she dragged me to the side, pulled a bunch of tall grass, set it on the ground, and made me sit & rest. A very sweet gesture, but I felt like such a noob. I’m 23! I should be able to do this! So I went back out there and pulled & pulled & pulled.

Something else that amazes me: the kids never get dirty. And they wear flip flops all day. Even when I serve a meal, I get soot all over me from the big pot (they cook over a fire). My jeans, sleeves, hands. But the kids never get dirty. I don’t understand it. Can someone explain??
Another thing: we eat SO much rice. It’s nice & plump, not quite the sticky Japanese kind, but something like that. I’ve never eaten so much rice before. My family’s not much of the rice type, and when we do eat it, it’s usually brown rice. And I’ll have maybe 100 grains or so. Here, I eat a zillion per meal. No joke. And then Tanin always throws another heap on my plate. Goodness!

Karen Spaghetti & H2O

At their request, I taught “Draw Me Close” tonight at worship. They know the Thai version already, so I decided to teach the girls some echo parts. :) Bright students! Afterwards, a handful of kids stayed behind to go over their ‘new’ song. Since Tanin was meeting with a small group of kids, I grabbed a guitar & went at it. There’s a college in the US that has a course here in Musekee every year (& the students stay at the HRDC), so the center has a book of English worship songs. The kids kept naming song after song, and I didn’t want to disappoint. So I transposed everything to G major & we had a blast. Haha. [As you can tell, I don’t remember much from my semester of guitar, probably because I never practiced!]

We ended the night with a Karen song. It goes like this: May tah chuh guh dah/Luh puh puah guhn neeaw…And it’s absolutely beautiful.

Oh, and dinner. We had Karen spaghetti. Interesting. I helped cook for the first time, but I started feeling light-headed while stirring the pasta. And I’m a fainter!! It was a close call. I know I should drink more water, and I’m all about the 2 liters/day at home. But I just don’t want to go to the bathroom here. It’s too much of a hassle to ‘flush’ the toilet, and if I’m not near my room, I’m scared to ask where the bathroom is; I fear that they’ll point to the jungle & tell me to go there. And I’ll feel bad saying no. And they’ll be embarrassed that they don’t have a toilet. It really is a big ordeal whenever I need to go, so please pray for my bladder. :)

But maybe the light-headedness was from cooking. I don’t think I should cook anymore.

I should mention how their nightly worship works. There are four rows of students; each row is a group, and each group has students of all ages (9-18). They sit like we did during gym class in elementary school. At the very beginning, one or two kids come up & sit in front. They name the list of songs that they’ve chosen, Tanin strums an intro, and we sing. There’s usually a message, kids recite verses, etc. Then during prayer time, someone else comes up and gives each group a specific topic to pray for. More recently, they started assigning me prayer topics. I guess I’ve become my own ‘group’. :) And I never know what they’re saying because I don’t understand their languages, but usually I’ll hear my name or the whole room turns to look at me. That’s when I know to pay more attention!! Then we pray away, Korean-style. And it’s a really cool experience. At the end, the prayer leader chooses someone to close. The past 2 days…that’s been me. Ha.

I am EXHAUSTED.

A Bug's Life

TIREDDD.

After the tree planting, Tete and I had lunch with the officials. Apparently they have connections with the royal family, and a lady kept showing me pictures on her camera from a banquet with the princess or whatever. And they all busted out their digital cameras to take a picture with me. Haha. They thought it was so amusing that I'm from America...but I'm Chinese.

I spoke again last night so Tanin's friend could practice translating. But his friend never showed up!! What a trickster. I still spoke anyway. Tanin & his friend have been watching this "Learn English" DVD. They're ridiculous. Like Thai soap operas.

The sharing went well. I'm speaking again on Sunday...yikes. After worship, I helped some girls with homework. Then some of us just sat outside singing & talking. We sometimes bust out in spontaneous song. Tanin really likes "Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns & wants me to lead it with him on Sunday. Decked out in Karen attire. We'll see!

It's good to have friends here. Even though we can't always understand each other, it's a blessing. Tanin's 25, and Akhom's 23 (just 2 days younger than me!), but they take care of 45 children. Whoa. I can never get over this! Both of them send money home, and Tanin even saved up all his money to build his mom a new house. Many of the homes in the villages are high off the ground so your pets can roam underneath. And you just throw your scraps through the floor boards. It makes sense. But Tanin's mom doesn't have the best health, so it was a burden walking down all the steps. So he built a house. Just like that. One of his brothers goes to college in Chiang Mai, so Tanin supports him. And the story goes on & on. This culture is amazing. This is what the Karen people do for each other.

So last night, I get back to my room exhausted, but I'm happy. And then I spot these STUPID ANTS! Like a whole army. Marching one by one. Hurrah. UGHHH. I hate bugs. I've been getting better because you just can't avoid them. And God created them, so I can't completely hate them. But I almost completely hate them. I look outside to see if I can locate some ant spray, but everyone's light is turned off. So I'm alone on this one. I take Kleenex and attack the army. One by one. Hurrah. They're marching in a row up & down my mosquito net. And they can burrow underneath it. Gross! And they're smart. They play dead. And when I look away, they scurry off & hide. So each time I thought I was done with my killing spree, I spot 5 more.

FINALLY

I'm finally all updated with the blog posts. I posted them as the day the events actually occurred, but I'm sure I messed up some of them. I don't know when I'll be able to update again, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you. :)

I wish you all were here with me.

ALARM CLOCK? HA!

I just got chased by an army of puppies, yikes.

My first memory of today: kids singing. Best way to wake up. I don't have an alarm clock here, and my watch just has an hour hand & a minute hand. No numbers or ticks or anything like that. So I never really know what time it is unless it's 12, 3, 6, or 9. Haha. I've had this watch for a few years already, and I still don't know how to read it. So it can be nice waking up to the cock-a-doodle-doo or the bustle of kids doing morning chores. Except it's 5:30am every morning!

I just went with Tanin to take the kids to school. He sometimes drives them (the school's a LONG walk), but he also wants them to walk there for exercise. It's good for them. I rode in the back with the kids in the pickup truck. :) On the way back, Tanin told me how the future is always on his mind. He shared with me a bit about his dreams & the worries on his heart. But it's so cool knowing that we go to bed at night praying to the same God who hears our different languages. This God who gave us unique cultures and the desire to embrace different things.

So we just drove the bumpy dirt road completely mesmerized by our great God.

Do They Ever Take Breaks??

I just saw a snack. I mean, SNAKE. Ugh. They don't just slither, they HOP. It's disgusting.

After we got back from taking the kids to school, we all had breakfast together. Tete started talking about how so many young people today are scared about the future. Haha...that's exactly what was keeping Tanin up all night.

As for me, I don't think about my future much. I don't have a dream or a desire to be someone or something. I feel like my life is like the Musekee night. Sometimes I've got the full moonlight or an occasional porch light, but most of the time I have no clue where the puddles are or where the slippery road dips down. Each step has got to be deliberate & well thought out. I have no clue what's in store. All I know is that I want to be loved. And I want to know that I'm known & loved. And I want to learn to love more passionately. Nothing more, nothing less.

Right now, we're planting trees at the old center. The village officials are here, and all the children came here from school. There's always something to do!!

Oh, and last night, we had a mixture of hot pot & Korean barbecue for dinner. It's this plate set over the fire...a little island to barbecue that's surrounded by a sea of soup. I used chopsticks for the first time since home, and it felt like home. :) We were at Lah-lee-dah's house celebrating the college graduation of three girls who used to live at the center. Good times.

I'm HARDCORE!

I just rode a motorcycle. It was about 3 minutes down the dirt road, but still. Thrilling!! It was raining & there were puddles and things to maneuver around. Now I think I’m gonna go get 11 tattoos and 6 piercings.

I spent the morning working on the music project. We’re putting together a song book with English on one side and Karen or Thai on the other side. I’m typing out all the English songs, but another thing I’m doing is using the English alphabet to sound out the Karen or Thai songs. So Saksiy was assigned to me; he sang while I typed out lots of “luh nuh buh”s. [Saksiy’s always singing so loudly with his eyes closed & his head raised towards Heaven; it’s precious. He’s also smart. Did I mention that??] Lots of work, but we managed. :)

I don’t know how the kids & staff are still standing upright after all these years of little sleep and lots of work. Goodness! They worked the entire morning in the garden (no school…three days off!), and I’m assuming that, like me, they all woke up to the Cock-a-doodle-doo. 5:45am. They’re trying to clear the garden so we (yes, “we”…that includes me!) can plant trees tomorrow. Big day!! The village officials (I think?) are stopping by.

After lunch, they relaxed a bit in front of the TV. This is where the nail polish enters the picture. I took it out because it was pouring rain, so I painted some fingernails. The girls went to town mixing the gold, iridescent blue/purple, and pink. And Akhom & Tanin somehow ended up with some beauty paint as well. A little frosting never hurt anyone!
Anyway, I’m supposed to go plant some rice now.

KAPUT

I turned on my computer this morning. Then I walked away & finished getting ready so the darn machine could start up with some privacy.

It’s broken. Again. A small part of my heart believed that it would last the trip, but who was I kidding. Of course it wouldn’t!! [The last time I took my computer abroad was to Berlin, where I got the blue screen of death. Some of you know my history with computers, and this actually isn’t that bad compared to some other events on the long timeline.]
So I got a blue screen with white words on it. I read them, but I have no clue what they mean. The message didn’t sound too disastrous, but I’m not falling for it. Not again. My computer & me, we’ve been through a lot. It’s like an abusive relationship, though. I keep coming back for more & it always says, “Oh, just change a driver or delete some pictures so I can have more memory…Just do this, and I’ll be better.” HA! Yeah right. I’m not falling for it.

I'm Back

I’m sleeping in a new bed tonight. I moved to the room Uncle Sam was staying in. It’s “nicer”…well, the bathroom’s nicer! Haha.

The drive back up to the Musekee jungle was lovely. The windows were rolled down, music was playing, and whoever knew the song—in Thai or English—just belted out the words. My heart’s at peace. You-pee & You-pah sat with me in the back of the truck, and they made a nice little bed in my lap. Such sweet girls. And so self-sufficient! Wow. It’s amazing how mature these children are. So we all just rode up in a comfortable silence as thoughts swirled through my head.

Seeing the Musekee children again was wonderful!! Times 10. They all told me they missed me, etc. But the coolest part was hooking up one of the donated laptops to the internet. Tete was just so giddy and happy. We all had a ball seeing the Google page in the middle of the jungle.
Tonight, Tanin asked me to share something with the kids (again). I talked about Abraham & Sarah, how they waited so long for their dear Isaac. And then God tells Abraham to go & put a knife through his little boy? Wow. After worship, we all piled into the TV/eating room & watched some ridiculous soap opera. HORRIBLE acting. Beyond horrible acting. With a nonsensical plot. Goodness.

<3

There are so many prayers on my heart right now. My family, my close friends, the Breakthrough kids & staff, the Musekee kids & staff, and Teen Camp. The more I love, the more I worry about the people I love.
Lord, just hold us all in the palm of Your hand. Let us know that we are known & loved.

HALLELUJAH!

I’m sitting here at a little coffee stand. I just bought 2 batik scarves (for Joanna, of course). And I’m sipping on a cappuccino (the coffee here is so good) in the less busy part of the night bazaar. Light rain. No need for the poncho. :)

JOY.

It was fun but oh so tiring doing errands in the rain. But the three girls are so much fun. I have a cute video of them singing “Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord” in English. During the chorus, they just sing some nonsensical nonsense, haha. I’ll post the video soon, don’t worry.

I’m alone now. It feels really good to just do my own thing. But when I got dropped off at the hotel and went to my room, all I wanted to do was talk to my mom. As I’ve been through so much this past week, there’s tons on my heart & mind, and I just needed to know that the people I love are still the same & affirming what I’m doing.

It’s good for my heart to change, but I also need to know that my family hasn’t changed. I need to know that they’re still here. So all of a sudden, there was this huge urgency to call Mom. I go across the street to the row of telephones, but my calling card doesn’t work. And so I finally decide to use my credit card—I don’t care how much it costs per minute!—in there, but that doesn’t even work! “Credit card incorrectly inserted”…all 4 ways?? Really?

Panic. I go & get some Thai officer standing nearby, and he just comes and pushes all these buttons. All of a sudden, I hear English through the phone. Such a lovely sound!! After messing up my billing zip code, I finally heard the rings & then…Mom.

What relief. I just babbled on & on & on as I pushed my tears back into hiding. Oh such joy.

It’s 8:10pm now. The fam’s gonna call me at my hotel room in 30 minutes, and I’m just going to sit here & be.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

Mom, I got you a birthday card last night. It was only 10 Baht, but there’s a flower on it. And it was hand-made. Not by me, though (which is probably a good thing).

It just occurred to me that I haven’t looked in a mirror in years, it seems. Until today. It was weird. I just use the kids as my mirror. If they’re clean, then I assume I’m clean. If they’re dirty, then I figure I should wash up a little.

Uncle Sam left this morning. Tete & her husband drove us to the airport & off he went. Sad. :(

We then went to pick up three little 8 yr old girls. You-pee, You-pah, and Lah-lee-dah. That’s not actually how you spell their names, but that’s how you pronounce them. You-pee & You-pah are twins. They were dropped off at the center when they were infants, and the staff here raised them. We don’t know where their parents are, but they’re definitely in a good place here. And just so you know, they’re girls. You’ll think their boys in my pictures, but they’re girls. And sweet ones. Lah-lee-dah is Tete’s niece. Her parents live down the road, and they’re also closely involved with the HRDC.

We went to the airport mall. I got some nail polish to take back to Musekee; I’m planning a girls night! :) The three girls were mesmerized by the escalators and elevators and…the automatic sink. They’d keep slapping their hand on the top of the faucet & were so confused when no water came out. Then the automatic hand dryer. What a hit! Hysterical.

Then off to the Chiang Mai Zoo…the kids kept saying “Pan-dahh!!”, & there were banners all over advertising it, but we never actually saw a pandahhh. But the zoo is not wheelchair friendly. It’s barely traction-less shoes friendly. Oye. But Lah-lee-dah kept turning back & holding out her hand for me to take as we walked on the slippery paths. And she’d point at patches of grass or a dry stone for me to step on. Precious.
We’re in the middle of doing errand upon errand. Gotta get those kids some sweet curry chicken!

Khawp Khun MAHK MAHK Kah

I’m waiting at a massage place for Uncle Sam. I just got my hair shampooed, conditioned, and styled. All I really care about is the shampoo, though. I could’ve walked out of there once the lather & rinse part was done. But it’s a big plus that my whole head is clean—like my ears. My ears feel so light and airy. And the blow dry & styling goop were just something special. I feel tons better.

I just waltzed right in, and the shampoo lady & I had a great conversation. Talking is therapeutic. I understand why people pay big $$$ to lay on a couch & talk. I haven’t actually had a for real conversation with more than 3 people in the last week, but I’ve been experiencing so much. So it was nice to talk a million words per minute with a stranger.

I also got a poncho. One of those long, thin plastic ones that cover you like a bed sheet. Yes. Great invention.

At dinner, we had the same vegetable that we had this afternoon at the village…I guess it’s called “morning star” in English. Yum. I also decided that I’m gonna start eating hot chili. To kill any brewing diseases. I’m not sure if it actually works (after all, I’m not a doctor!), but I’m definitely a victim of self-hypnosis. I learned about this at a conference I went to this past winter about alternative medicine. I totally can make myself feel better & healthier by saying things like, “Jessica, just put hot sauce on it. It kills bacteria & viruses.” I can also make myself feel symptoms. If someone complains of a sore throat, I always get a sore throat. Immediately. If someone’s head hurts, all of a sudden my head hurts. Self-hypnosis. It’s only good when used properly.
I just need to always think positively. I guess prayer’s probably better, but positive thinking’s good too.

I'm Down

We’re (We=Uncle Sam & I) sitting at a restaurant having cappuccinos. Highlight of my day. There are currently no bugs, there’s a breeze, and there’s shelter from the pounding rain. Goodness. Otherwise, I’m down. This rain is just horrible, and I barely made it here as the Chiang Mai ‘sidewalks’ are dangerously slippery and narrow. It’s dark & gloomy. And it’s dirty. I feel gross. I’m caked in nastiness from sliding around the village, and I haven’t actually cleansed my whole body since my first night in Hong Kong. Ugh.

On the outside, I’m fine. No negative words have left my mouth, and I really should have nothing negative to say. I just feel nasty.

We passed by a place, and these words caught my eye: Shampoo, head massage, blow dry…100 Baht. Okay. I REALLY want that. That’s all I can think about.

And it doesn’t help that Uncle Sam is recalling all his bad experiences around the world. We passed by a skewer stand, and he said he doesn’t eat those anymore because they once gave him so much diarrhea that he almost died. And then there’s the story about staying at a place in the mountains of some poor country with no electricity or running water and how they had to sleep on the floor in nastiness. Extra ugh. Ugh!
I’m just down. And I hate feeling this way. But it totally helps to keep praying. Each word uttered to Heaven takes some specks of dirt off of me.

ARE YOU DELICIOUS??

“Are you delicious?” <--Just popped into my head. The other day, Tanin told me how he used to ask the visitors, “Are you delicious?” (All in reference to the meal they just ate.) It wasn’t until several “Are you delicious?” utterings later that someone corrected him. Do you think the food is delicious?

We left this morning for Chiang-Mai. We made some unexpected (well, unexpected to me, planned for Tete & her husband) stops along the way. After driving a couple hours on a dirt road, we arrive at a village that’s part of the HRDC. Maedet Village. We walk up these dangerous wooden steps (all the wooden steps here are ‘dangerous’) into a room with pews and an altar.

We’re at church.

What an experience! Tete translated a bit, but it was as if we didn’t need it. I could feel the songs sung by the people (the Karen people LOVE music, so it’s been really musically satisfying here) and the words just fill my heart. And the people are beyond welcoming. I can’t get enough of it. During the service, we introduced ourselves. And at the very end, Uncle Sam gave the closing prayer. In Cantonese. I’ll just describe this experience as “cool”.

We just had lunch at the ‘house’ across the street. Some people who used to live at the children’s home in Musekee came here after they graduated. They’re developing this village and are supported by a church in the states—the church helps them with rent, etc. They cooked our food in this huge pot over a fire; it was surreal. Uncle Sam said, “I’ve never even experienced something like this before.” And he’s done a lot!

The people here have everything. They grow what they eat; they don’t need money to survive.

Oh, it’s pouring rain right now. And I’m wearing stupid Old Navy flip flops. I thought I’d be sitting in a car all day, not walking up muddy slip sliding hills. This aspect of village life is getting old!

Stupid Old Navy Flip Flops

I taught the primary kids a song today. Not as hard as I thought it'd be, seeing as they didn't understand what they were singing! But it had motions, and we had a blast. Uncle Sam & I then thought up games off the top of our heads. We had another hurdle to jump over in trying to explain directions, but oh such fun!! Some of the kids, like Saksiy, also wanted to do more origami. :) So we set up an origami station and made lions, tigers, and... elephants. Waraporn, the sweetheart, made a boat. Then she drew a girl, cut her out, put her in the boat. Made a paddle and a purse, and said, "Go to America!!" At first, the boat was on the table. Then she got a blue piece of paper and put the boat there. Then we all came up with the [brilliant] idea...what about real water? So the boat was floating in real water for awhile, heading to America, before it started to sink.

Tete, her husband, another woman, Uncle Sam, and I also went to a rice paddy today. We were scoping out the paddy that the HRDC owns & looking for its water source. The person who owns the paddy above ours doesn't take good care of it, so water isn't going down into our land. But in order to get to the water source, we went on quite a trek weaving through craziness. Old Navy flip flops just don't work. I was sliding all around & almost fell into the stream 3 times. (At two of the crossings, there was only one thin piece of wood for us to step on...whoa, right?)

What an experience.

Then we drove on the bumpyyy dirt road to another village to visit with Tete's friend. Saw coffee trees, jackfruit trees, PIGS!, everything it seems. As we went back up the path, we saw Tete's husband visiting with a random family. The Karen people are so laid back and hospitable. I mean, they spend their days growing what they need to eat and enjoying life. There were 3 or 4 generations under this little wooden apparatus, and one of them was a true authentic Karen grandma. I mean, if you Google "Karen tribe, Thailand", you'll see her. She's 100. And just the sweetest lady ever. We took pictures with her, and when we found out she's 100, we all did a thumbs up. :)

They also served us tea. Tasty. But the people here don't exactly use soap. So it was mostly just hot water & fingers cleaning out the cups. I took two sips. I really only should've taken one, but I took the second one to make sure the taste was a finger-induced saltiness & not the natural taste of the tea. Ha. It was tasty enough to take the chance.

Tanin & Akhom

Last night, I shared my story. The kids have "Worship" after dinner every night, where they meet in this big room and spend time together. One kid leads worship each day, which is incredible. They do the Korean-style praying, and their hearts are totally in it. Completely.

There are two full-time staff workers for the kids--Tanin & Akhom. They're on 24/7. I don't know how they do it. The other day, Tanin asked if I would share something with the kids. He wants to practice translating & also wants the kids to get to know me better. It was fun. I'll probably be speaking to the kids about twice a week with my trusty translator. :)

But seriously. Tanin & Akhom. They're not much older than me, but they're essentially raising 45 kids. Ahkom really wants to go to college, and he's hoping that Tete will be able to find someone/people to support him. They wake up when the kids wake up (5:30am...I guess this is when I wake up too), help serve breakfast, work in the fields/just do work in general, play with the kids, love the kids. And Tanin's enrolled in college right now, doing a lot of computer homework and taking the occasional online test. WOW.

Uncle Sam & I helped out with the dinner preparations. He helped the girls prepare the big pot of food, and we both helped serve the rice & meat/veggies/whatever it was on their aluminum plates. It was fun. :)

"Tuh soy". My new favorite phrase. One of the girls, Waraporn, taught it to me today. We all speak different languages, but it's so cool how you don't necessarily need words to grow close to people. You don't need words to love someone. And you don't need words to be loved by someone. So we went around saying "tuh soy" as fast as we could & as many times as possible.

It means, "You are beautiful."

Goodbye

Uncle Sam’s last night. :(

The kids sang him a goodbye song, just as they sang us a welcome song on our first night. I almost cried; I couldn’t imagine leaving the kids. So I’m glad I’m coming back. PHEW. Two girls shared, thanking Uncle Sam for the origami (Saksiy) and for reminding them to close the lid of the pot while cooking (a girl). They gave some incredibly heart-felt words, and the girl said (in Karen): Even though we speak different languages, God hears us.

I taught them a song tonight; that’s always so much fun to do. Afterwards, Tete mentioned how we’re heading to Chiang-Mai, and she asked the kids what they’d like from there. Songs with motions. Hehe. And sweet curry chicken. Tete asked for the recipe, but the girls said, “We’ve never had it before!! We just saw it on TV & it looks so good!”

I figured out one of the more pleasant sounds that I’ve been hearing at night. It sounds like a wooden mallet hitting a piece of wood. I finally connected the sound with its real image when we passed by a small herd of cows. They’re always wandering around, and they have these things around their neck. Cowbell. :)

Cock-a-doodle-UGHHH

I woke up & wished myself a happy 4th of July.

Then I went down to the little building where the kids have their meals, hang out, and watch TV (yes, there's a TV!)...and here I am now. I'm watching the kids watch the TV load from 1%-100%. Thrilling.

I fell asleep last night to singing. One of the girl dorms (they call it a "hostel" here, but I prefer "dorm"...I have too many bad memories from the one hostel I stayed at in Copenhagen) stayed up singing & praising. Beautiful. Joining the everpresent cricket & bird choir. :)

But I woke up to a cock-a-doodle-doo. I counted 50 of them before I stopped counting. And each "cock-a-doodle-doo" was echoed back by animal voices all around. Pretty cool, but not at 5am!

I mentioned to Tete how today's our independence day, and she marveled at how the British had its presence EVERYWHERE. Burma & Thailand (her connections), America (me), and Hong Kong (Uncle Sam). Interesting.

Blessed Are the Meek

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. (I think that's right...right?)

We took a walk around the village today, and Tete shared the stories behind each building and garden. She also shared the dreams of the HRDC. Land is always an issue, as it costs money and usually already belongs to someone. But everything on earth belongs to God. It's not ours to fight over (some countries should remember this) or to worry about not having enough of it. Because it's not ours. Never was. Never will be. Someone far greater made it, and it's here for us to enjoy it and to cultivate it. Nothing more, nothing less.

I forgot to mention, the staff loved all the pens, laptops, and toys. I wish you could've seen their faces light up & let out their child-like squeals; it was wonderful. Even the smallest things had some sort of significance. Tete saw a toy truck, flipped the "on" switch, and the 4 wheels just roared with quick spins. Uncle Sam joked, "It's 4 wheel drive!" And Tete said this is the exact truck that they need. She'll put the truck on the shelf of the office, praying that they'll be provided with a real one soon. Who would've thought? It was quite a sight seeing all these things sprawled out. Truly heart-warming & totally worth the extra weight in my suitcases.

Right now, I'm writing from under my mosquito net. I've got four walls and a ceiling, with the occasional gap between the wood boards. Fresh air. :) I'm in the middle of God's creation, serenaded by a lovely chorus of ANIMALS. Animals everywhere. I turned on my computer, so I'm taking this time to Moleskine my day as the computer powers up. It's almost too beautiful for writing. I feel like I'm just supposed to lay here and enjoy. But I've gotta find some easy worship songs to teach the kids for tomorrow, so I'm reliant on technology, unfortunately.

It's pure joy here. Goodnight.

Walking on H2O

Walking on H2O

We have our meals in this open porch-like area. There’s a door to the kitchen, and a door to the area where Tete & her husband stay. No windows. Just fresh air. After eating, Tanin & Akhom usually go off and do the next activity with the kids or whatever crazy thing that’s on the agenda. Tete, Uncle Sam & I are left at the table, and we talk. About everything. Even though we’re in the jungle (essentially), the people know a heck of a lot about the world. But those of us living in the biggest cities in the world don’t know much about the rest of it, do we?

So today after breakfast, we talked about Michael Jackson. Now, everyone has their own take on him and are interested in different facets of his life. Tete talked about the orphanage he supported & how he would borrow money from the government to fund the orphanage & pay the debt back with his performance profit. Whoa. Another aspect of MJ, I guess. Not the first thing that comes to my mind, though!

We spent the morning at the hospital. Tete has been having chest pains (pray for her!), so we went with her to her check-up. The Thai government recently built this hospital, and it’s quite a sight! You take off your shoes at the ‘entrance’, which is this open area with no doors. Really. And when a stretcher needs to go through the lobby, you’ve gotta push back the rows of chairs so it can pass through. But a hospital is a hospital, which is a great luxury to have. (I’ll post a picture of the dog that was roaming around INSIDE!)

Uncle Sam & I spent the afternoon teaching origami & playing games with the kids. Origami=great idea! Apparently Uncle Sam got the idea when he went backpacking in Nepal & visited an orphanage there; some Japanese girl brought paper & the kids had a ball. Same with Musekee. Origami is a universal language. :) One boy, Saksiy, is AMAZING. Like, he kept asking to do more & more things until Uncle Sam finally went and got the origami book he checked out from the library. Bright kid. Sweet kid, too. But Uncle Sam thinks this kid’s name is “Sexy”, and being the exuberant man he is, every time he sees Saksiy he says, “Are you Sexy?? Huh? Sexy?!!”

OYE.

The story of Peter walking on water came into conversation today. Peter walked on water. It’s not an ordinary feat, and he was doing just great. But we all know what happened: he sunk. Why? 1. Maybe he had fear. He looked around & saw the vast ocean with no land in sight. 2. Maybe it was pride. He was walking on H2O after all! You don’t need a Jesus if you can walk on water. But both 1. & 2. are wrong!

Think about it.